Being Tortured by Docs

I'm pretty healthy for my age. I don't see the doctor unless I have a very good reason. Up until this year I didn't see the need for annual physicals, but because I just turned 50 I figured I should start doing better.

At the end of my physical, after getting a clean bill of health, my doctor asked if I wanted a colonoscopy. My reply was that no one "wants" one, but if you say I "need" one, I'll do it. He said I need one.

So, the dreaded day is tomorrow and the appointment is not until 1 p.m. I have not had any solid food since 11 p.m. last night, and I can't eat anything until AFTER the procedure. To add to the pain and suffering, several hours ago I drank a half gallon of a really horrible liquid -- eight 8 oz glasses over 2 hours. The lemon-lime flavor that came with it did not help at all.

Those of you who have been through this know what the liquid does -- but for those who have not, let me just say it cleans out your system in an intense way. You definitely want a clear route to the bathroom.

I haven't even had the procedure yet and I already feel as if I'm being tortured!

First, I am really, really hungry! Second, drinking half a gallon of that crap was horrible, even with the flavor added. I need to drink another half gallon in the morning. The cramps this caused were pretty intense and it is a good thing we have more than one bathroom in the house. I've eaten a ton of Popsicles and jello because they are considered liquids. Nearly everything I've had today has been a variety of citrus flavors because I can't eat or drink anything that is red, blue or purple. I am so tired of lemon and lime! I drank a couple mugs of warmed up chicken broth earlier just to have something that wasn't sweet or fruit flavored.

So here is what I think.

The person who came up with this test loved torture. The person who decided that a patient needs to be without food for over 24 hrs enjoyed torture. The person who came up with that vile liquid and the worthless added flavor enjoyed torture.

And finally, the person who prescribed this test for me -- my own personal doctor -- wanted to torture me directly.

I can't imagine what he would do if I weren't healthy! (I'm still hungry.)