Saturday, January 11, 2014

Still the Bitch

Seven years ago, my mom died in January from complications of diseases caused by smoking. The last few years of her life she couldn't walk very far, needed oxygen, couldn't drive, had a stroke that finally paralyzed her and caused her to not know me. It was awful!

In January 2013, I told my husband he needed to quit smoking. I explained that I had had enough. I was tired of the lies, tired of the sneaking around and seriously tired of the phlegmy cough he had had for months. He needed to quit!

He said he had a plan, and if I would just leave him alone, he will quit smoking in 2013. He had a date in his mind and he did not want to talk to me about it. OK, I thought, I can live with this.

March rolled around. He had not quit smoking. I again brought it up. Look, I said, you told me you have a plan. I have seen no change in behavior, your phlegm is getting worse, you need to quit.

Again, I have a plan...yadda, yadda yadda.

Then he has a HUGE blood clot behind his knee. This blood clot could potentially kill him. Everyone on the face of the earth knows that smoking is a leading cause of potentially deadly blood clots -- well except smokers....

I was informed that he was scared. I believed that being that scared you might die might somewhere in the back of your brain make you think quitting would be a good option. I was wrong. Didn't even stop the smoking while there was still a clot.

Months later I have another conversation: You need to quit. Response: I have a plan.You get the picture. At one point he had even recruited a friend to join him in quitting.

So now we are an entire year after that first conversation. A full year after I was told to get off his back, he had a plan. Months after a potentially deadly blood clot... and he is still smoking. Yesterday I asked if he quit smoking, and he said no.

Right now I am extremely angry! All of these negative thoughts about every smoker I know are running through my head.
Look at how arrogant they are!
1) If there is just one smoker in a room, everyone in the room must suffer.
2) If you are playing darts or cards, and a smoker needs to have a cigarette, everyone else's fun must come to a complete a total stop while they go outside for a cigarette. And if they go outside in a group, forget them ever coming back in a timely manner.
3) They just assume the rest of us will take care of them when they can't walk, can't breath or even after having a couple strokes.

So, what do I do? Wait around for this grand plan that will never happen? Do I wait for the next blood clot that kills him, or leaves him paralyzed? Do I stick around and watch this? Or not...

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Candy Crush is Ruining My Life

The characters in Candy Crush look innocent, don't they?
"My name is Cindi, and I'm addicted to Candy Crush."

Then you all reply, "Hi, Cindi!"

It might seem extreme, but I'm pretty sure I am a Candy Crush addict. Here is my evidence:
  • Over the last few months, there has been no quality content added to my blogs, podcast or Facebook pages.
  • I have been looking for a new job, but have sent out only one resume.
  • I am trying to write two different books, but have generated no content.
  • I'm not getting enough sleep because I lay in bed playing the game.
  • I don't walk over my lunch hour because I play the game.

I have friends who are just as affected because that is the point of the game—get your friends on Facebook to play with you. We help each other by sending lives and extra moves. But here is the worst part—you NEED your friends to move on to the next world. You get on a roll, you are having fun beating level after level, when all of the sudden you cannot play anymore unless a friend responds to your plea to unlock the next world. So, of course you invite more friends to play so you have more friends who will help you.

The game is sneaky, too. I found out early that the more I play, the harder each level is. If I got frustrated and just stopped playing for a few days, I would suddenly be able to beat a difficult level with my first try! And if you accumulate some free extras, like sprinkles or fish, and use them, the level will be so difficult you won't be able to win. It even encourages you to have the game on several devices—your computer, your phone, your tablet—so you can keep playing.

If you get too frustrated, there is a solution—you can BUY extras, like sprinkles, fish or more moves. You can make this purchase before you start a level or in the middle if you know you are not going to beat it. (I read that the creators of this free game are making millions from people who buy these extras just to beat a level.)

I try not to be a conspiracy theorist, but the whole thing reminds me of a Star Trek Next Generation episode called The Game. Riker brings a video game to the Enterprise from a planet he visits and gets everyone addicted to it except Wesley and Data. Welsey is hunted down and forced to play while Data's power is turned off. Even super cool Picard gets addicted! After Data eventually saves everyone, the crew learns the purpose of the game: It made them susceptible to the power of suggestion, compelling them to aid the games' creators—the Ktarians—in an attempt to take control of the Enterprise (and eventually the Federation.)

Sound familiar?

So, just for today—one day at a time—I will not play Candy Crush. I will try to get my life back and maybe I will even save the world.