Saturday, January 11, 2014

Still the Bitch

Seven years ago, my mom died in January from complications of diseases caused by smoking. The last few years of her life she couldn't walk very far, needed oxygen, couldn't drive, had a stroke that finally paralyzed her and caused her to not know me. It was awful!

In January 2013, I told my husband he needed to quit smoking. I explained that I had had enough. I was tired of the lies, tired of the sneaking around and seriously tired of the phlegmy cough he had had for months. He needed to quit!

He said he had a plan, and if I would just leave him alone, he will quit smoking in 2013. He had a date in his mind and he did not want to talk to me about it. OK, I thought, I can live with this.

March rolled around. He had not quit smoking. I again brought it up. Look, I said, you told me you have a plan. I have seen no change in behavior, your phlegm is getting worse, you need to quit.

Again, I have a plan...yadda, yadda yadda.

Then he has a HUGE blood clot behind his knee. This blood clot could potentially kill him. Everyone on the face of the earth knows that smoking is a leading cause of potentially deadly blood clots -- well except smokers....

I was informed that he was scared. I believed that being that scared you might die might somewhere in the back of your brain make you think quitting would be a good option. I was wrong. Didn't even stop the smoking while there was still a clot.

Months later I have another conversation: You need to quit. Response: I have a plan.You get the picture. At one point he had even recruited a friend to join him in quitting.

So now we are an entire year after that first conversation. A full year after I was told to get off his back, he had a plan. Months after a potentially deadly blood clot... and he is still smoking. Yesterday I asked if he quit smoking, and he said no.

Right now I am extremely angry! All of these negative thoughts about every smoker I know are running through my head.
Look at how arrogant they are!
1) If there is just one smoker in a room, everyone in the room must suffer.
2) If you are playing darts or cards, and a smoker needs to have a cigarette, everyone else's fun must come to a complete a total stop while they go outside for a cigarette. And if they go outside in a group, forget them ever coming back in a timely manner.
3) They just assume the rest of us will take care of them when they can't walk, can't breath or even after having a couple strokes.

So, what do I do? Wait around for this grand plan that will never happen? Do I wait for the next blood clot that kills him, or leaves him paralyzed? Do I stick around and watch this? Or not...

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