New Things added to List

I have a bunch of things to add to my list of New Things. (I've been in meetings for three days, putting words together well at this point will be tough.) I'm traveling for work in San Francisco and not only is this my first time here, it is a great city for first experiences!

1. I road a trolley! As soon as I knew I was coming here, I had this on my list of to do's.

2. I saw and climbed up the famous Lombard Street. The incline is much more intense than I expected!

3. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge. Actually, on my list was to get a good look at it -- walking across is a good way to do that.

4. Saw a Redwood forest. This might be a little deceiving. There is a small park here in the city that boasts of having a Redwood forest. In reality, it is a small city park with 12-20 Redwoods. Still, I saw Redwoods!

5. Entered and finished a 12K race. I have never raced that distance before. By the way, that also means I set a personal record! We finished in 1:55:54.

6. I had dinner in a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Maybe what this one should really be is that I visited a Chinatown -- but I like the fact we ate there, too.

Prophetic Tagger

Though not the most artistic piece of graffiti, the message is a good one.

(Yes, Tiffany, I knew you would appreciate it.)

Raindrop Memories

Yesterday while on hold, I was treated to the Muzak-version of the Burt Bacharch song, Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head. At first I laughed, trying to remember when the last time I heard that song was and surprised to discover I still know all of the words.

As I hummed along and pictured the bicycle scene from the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, I suddenly had an upset stomach. Then I had memories of a weird smell -- a very specific weird smell. "How do I know that smell and why would I associate it with this song," I wondered.

Just as the song ended, a light blue dental chair popped into my head. Ah ha!

Starting at the age of 9, I went to see my orthodontist once a month for 5 years. It was not a pleasant experience as he often jabbed my gums, tightened wires or caused pain in a variety of others ways. While sitting in the waiting room, I remember my stomach churning, anticipating the torture he was about to inflict -- all the while smelling those chemical smells and listening to 60s and 70s hits converted to Muzak.

Who knew that a simple song not heard for years could bring back such intense memories? Who knows what will happen if I hear a Muzak version of the Mamas and the Papas or even Michael Jackson!

Photo by D Sharon Pruitt.

Seaweed and Potstickers

The other day, in the middle of a sleet storm, I suddenly decided I needed seaweed and potstickers. The seaweed was because I read an article about seaweed helping to prevent the body from absorbing fat. (Up to 75% of fat consumed!)

The potstickers were because I really love potstickers and if I was going to get seaweed from an Asian market, I should get potstickers at the same time.

After roaming the market not being able to read more than half the packages I picked up, I ended up with a jar of shredded seaweed and a huge bag of potstickers.

While in line at the register, the woman behind me asked if I knew how to cook the potstickers. I said I was just going to read the package. She gave me very specific instructions for how to boil the dumplings three times before browning them in hot oil. When I asked her if I had picked a good brand she said she didn't know -- she always made hers from scratch. (Made me think of my great grandmother and her pierogies. Could not imagine her buying them -- ever!)

It felt a little weird being the only caucasion and not being able to read the language. But when the woman in line offered advice on how to cook the food, I felt better. It was no longer people looking at me just because I was different, she wanted to be sure I knew how to prepare the food correctly. I felt accepted!

So, not sure which item it is on my 50 new things list, but shopping in an Asian market is on it! And it probably will not be my last time there.
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Followup: I ended up following the package directions for cooking the potstickers. They fell apart and stuck to the frying pan. I really should have listened.

I bought the totally wrong seaweed. I think the stuff I bought is for adding to recipes. It is fishy tasting and not what I expected to find. I ended up locating a toasted seaweed snack at Trader Joe's. Though it still has a slight fishy taste, it has a light toasted texture that is nice. The pieces are very thin and crunchy and are lightly salted. I think I could eventually get used to eating it.

Being Dogless

Monday of last week, we had to put our dog down. Rylee was a beautiful yellow lab with a great personality! She was very sweet and loving. She was a great dog! She was 12. It was definitely her time, and she looked at us with those big sad brown eyes and seemed to say she was ready.

As some of you might recall, last year about this time, our dog Ozzie died. He was only 6 and had a seizure of some type in our kitchen and died suddenly. Later that year, we had to put my mom's little poodle down, too.

So, last year we went from having three dogs to just one. Rylee had not done well as an "only dog" before and we were worried about her. In fact, we got Ozzie 6 years ago because she was so lonely and sad after Annie (golden retriever) died.

Maybe because she was older, maybe because she saw Ozzie die, and maybe because we have play dates with Page (the black lab mix puppy who belongs to our daughter), Rylee did OK being alone this time. Actually, Page is so energetic and tiring, maybe she was afraid we would get another puppy who would never leave!

So, for the first time in over 23 years, we are dogless. Though I have been frustrated with mud tracked in my house constantly, dog hair everywhere and too much barking, I'm having a little bit of difficulty adjusting.

Friday I came home to a totally empty house for the first time ever. There were no kids, no dogs, nothing -- just me. A house feels so different when it is that empty, when there is no one to greet you.

In the mornings, I look into the kitchen corner where Rylee slept. It is still a surprise not to see her there or standing at the back door waiting to be let out. She was always so happy to see me in the morning -- wagging her tail like crazy.

So, I'm not sure I ever want another dog. I've been saying for years how tired I am of having a dirty house. I'm tired of dirty floors. I want new rugs that will actually be clean for more than 5 seconds! I hate dog hair on everything. I'd like to walk out in my backyard without having to watch where I step.

At the same time, the hole in my heart where Rylee and Ozzie were is bigger than I thought it would be. I cannot believe how much I miss them both. (I think I miss Ozzie more now because we are dogless.)

We stopped by Petland last night before going to a movie like we usually do and it was hard. The puppies were as cute as always. They have lots of foo foo dogs I would never own, but are fun to look at. I was doing pretty well until I saw the yellow and chocolate labs. I remember when Rylee was that little and cute!

So for now, I guess I'll go ahead and clean my rugs because I know it will last. I'll wash the walls in the kitchen where they would lean. How can dogs get walls so dirty! And I'll really clean the dirt out of my hard wood floors knowing they won't be covered with mud after the first winter thaw.

Then I'll just see how I feel.

Death Lasagna

In our family, death and lasagna sometimes go hand-in-hand.

Lasagna is a time-consuming dish for me to make. The sauce takes most of a day and putting one together takes a little time, too. In fact, when I make lasagna, I usually make a couple at a time and keep them in the freezer. It is not unusual to find a lasagna (or two) in our freezer on any day

Our Family History

It was about 24 years ago when both of my in laws died. Immediately after their deaths and leading up to their funeral, everyone we knew was amazingly kind and concerned. We were inundated with so many offers of kindness, there was no way we could have accepted them all. In fact it was overwhelming. Though dealing with their deaths and funeral was the worst thing I have ever faced, at the time I had no idea how numb we were -- and needed to be -- to get through it.

As time went on, everyone around us began to forget. After three months, the numbness had worn off and the pain was unbearable -- again. Our friends had all moved on. At times we would get looks from people that seemed to say, "You mean, you aren't over that yet?"

One night still sticks out in my mind. My husband had come home and simply asked what was for dinner. I burst into tears -- the stress of deciding what to eat was more than I could handle. The simplest things were overwhelming, yet everyone expected that we would be "over it".

It wasn't until years later that I learned this is normal. As part of the grieving process, people tend to have a rough time three months, six months, nine months and a year after the death of a loved one. Why isn't this common knowledge?

10 Years Ago

A friend of ours died. It was sudden, he had no insurance and his wife was devastated. Because of his death being so unexpected, many of our friends offered help and support a little longer than is usual. Still, as is typical, it eventually tapered off.

I wrote the three-month anniversary of his death on our calendar and had planned to fix dinner for her. When the date rolled around, I was pretty busy at work and didn't have time to cook, but I did have a lasagna in the freezer. I grabbed the lasagna, bought a bag of salad and some Italian bread and dropped it off. "I thought you might not feel like cooking," I said. "Here is dinner." Her eyes teared up a little and she admitted the stress was bad and the food was appreciated.

After that, I started trying to make more of an effort to remember and offer our friends dinner about three months after a loved one had died. As it turned out, not only do I usually have a lasagna in the freezer, over the years I've discovered it is one of the best dishes I make and given a choice, most people would rather have my lasagna than other dishes I cook. Plus, if it is frozen there is no pressure to eat it within a set time period.

Now

A couple of weeks ago I was making a big pot of sauce for lasagna. My goal was to make more than usual -- maybe six pans. I was pretty excited that the store had two packages of Glad plastic baking pans so I had enough pans for six.

When my daughter came home she asked, "Are you making 'death lasagna'?"

Then it hit me -- it is death lasagna! Though we usually eat lasagna the day I make several, it is not often that my family even gets to eat a frozen one. I almost always give them all away.

And this is why I should buy stock in Glad.

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Right before I made that big batch of lasagna, two co-workers lost parents. About a week after making them, one friend lost her mom, then the next day her husband lost his mom! It's been a pretty rough couple of months for parents!

There are a couple of reasons why I use the Glad plastic baking pans. 1) They can be frozen and go into the oven. 2) If they are not returned, it just doesn't matter. When you are too stressed to cook, the last thing you want is the responsibility to return someone's favorite baking dish. Actually, I discovered the Glad pans after losing three different Pyrex dishes. Yeah, the Glad pans are a little cheaper and easier to replace.

I'm 50 -- Now What?

It was my original intent to end this blog on my 50th birthday. After all, the entire point was to fret and stew about turning 50 -- once you've passed the landmark, what is the point?

Well, several people have asked me what I plan to do, and I just could not figure out a great to end this. One friend so enjoys this blog as her best connection to me, I thought maybe I'll keep it going.

So, one of my goals on my 50th birthday was to do 50 new things before December 13 this year. Now that I'm "old", my life has become somewhat stagnant and I need to do something to add in a little excitement and some new challenges. 50 new things seems like a great way to do that. Before deciding that I would blog about those 50 things, I have already completed three. One will be a blog post in a few days -- the others will just make my final list.

Since 50 blog posts in a year is not a lot, I'm sure I will just feel the need to write about something or to vent, and this will be the venue.

So thank you to everyone who has helped me make it to my halfway point! Thank you to everyone who made it to my birthday party. And if you have any ideas for somethine for me to try this year, let me know!