Being Dogless

Monday of last week, we had to put our dog down. Rylee was a beautiful yellow lab with a great personality! She was very sweet and loving. She was a great dog! She was 12. It was definitely her time, and she looked at us with those big sad brown eyes and seemed to say she was ready.

As some of you might recall, last year about this time, our dog Ozzie died. He was only 6 and had a seizure of some type in our kitchen and died suddenly. Later that year, we had to put my mom's little poodle down, too.

So, last year we went from having three dogs to just one. Rylee had not done well as an "only dog" before and we were worried about her. In fact, we got Ozzie 6 years ago because she was so lonely and sad after Annie (golden retriever) died.

Maybe because she was older, maybe because she saw Ozzie die, and maybe because we have play dates with Page (the black lab mix puppy who belongs to our daughter), Rylee did OK being alone this time. Actually, Page is so energetic and tiring, maybe she was afraid we would get another puppy who would never leave!

So, for the first time in over 23 years, we are dogless. Though I have been frustrated with mud tracked in my house constantly, dog hair everywhere and too much barking, I'm having a little bit of difficulty adjusting.

Friday I came home to a totally empty house for the first time ever. There were no kids, no dogs, nothing -- just me. A house feels so different when it is that empty, when there is no one to greet you.

In the mornings, I look into the kitchen corner where Rylee slept. It is still a surprise not to see her there or standing at the back door waiting to be let out. She was always so happy to see me in the morning -- wagging her tail like crazy.

So, I'm not sure I ever want another dog. I've been saying for years how tired I am of having a dirty house. I'm tired of dirty floors. I want new rugs that will actually be clean for more than 5 seconds! I hate dog hair on everything. I'd like to walk out in my backyard without having to watch where I step.

At the same time, the hole in my heart where Rylee and Ozzie were is bigger than I thought it would be. I cannot believe how much I miss them both. (I think I miss Ozzie more now because we are dogless.)

We stopped by Petland last night before going to a movie like we usually do and it was hard. The puppies were as cute as always. They have lots of foo foo dogs I would never own, but are fun to look at. I was doing pretty well until I saw the yellow and chocolate labs. I remember when Rylee was that little and cute!

So for now, I guess I'll go ahead and clean my rugs because I know it will last. I'll wash the walls in the kitchen where they would lean. How can dogs get walls so dirty! And I'll really clean the dirt out of my hard wood floors knowing they won't be covered with mud after the first winter thaw.

Then I'll just see how I feel.