Not One of the Cool Kids

I'll just come out and say it. I am not where I want to be professionally and I am not as successful as I thought I would be at my age.

A few years back I took a business risk. My plan was that I would quit my day job and run this business until I sold it years from now, making millions. It didn't happen that way.

In the meantime, the economy has been getting progressively worse, I'm getting older, and finding the type of job I want is pretty tough right now.

This is all to explain why earlier this week I was sitting in a small conference room with seven other people (who were all under the age of 24) watching a two-hour employment orientation video for a retail outlet. Yes, I took a part-time job at a retail chain.

The initial interview process was great! The managers are wonderful! Many of the part-time staff are my age and pretty much in the same boat -- I feel very comfortable with my decision to work there. But in this small conference room, I was more than twice the age of everyone else. To say I stuck out like a sore thumb is an understatement.

The orientation process was fine until the manager started the training DVD and left the room. Though pretty well done as far as training videos go (I know it isn't a video, but what do I call it?), but it was horribly long and parts were a little cheesy. It was grueling to sit there for so long.

The "children" were restless and started talking about all kinds of stuff that had nothing to do with the video. They got pretty loud and silly. I felt old. I didn't want to participate in the inane conversation, but I didn't like being the geek among the cool kids. I just wanted to watch the video and move on.

At one point the youngest woman suggested we fast forward through parts. Someone handed her the remote and she tried the buttons. "Don't do that," I said. "If they want us to watch this, we should watch it." Just put the goody two shoes label on me now!

She kept playing with the buttons and I had to say something again. Finally, the guy who handed her the remote admitted that there were no batteries in it and he knew it wouldn't work. OK, so I wasn't the only one who knew we had to do it even if it was unpleasant -- but I was still the only one geeky enough to tell her to stop.

In the majority of situations, I am comfortable with my age. I'm OK around my teenaged son's friends and I'm comfortable around people much older than I am. In most social situations, I am not alone with large groups of twenty-somethings. And if I am in a group too young for me, usually I can leave.

It's totally different being with this group -- who will be my co-workers, my peers.

The good news is orientation is over. The better news is that I will not be working in the same department with any of these people.

After a year of freelancing and extreme budgeting that just has not worked, I am ready for this move. I have a plan to take care of a few things and this is the first step. It is not where I want to be, but I think it is where I am supposed to be -- at least for now.