I am Too Old To ...

I am too old to:

• lie about how long I was at lunch.
• worry about what other people think about me.
• wear skinny, stretch jeans.
• "get" movies such as Harold and Kumar or anything titled Saw.
• know what a Bukagon is.
• listen to Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers.
• listen to rap, hip hop or any of the horrible music my son listens to.
• worry about the car I drive.
• drink shots.
• read without glasses or cheaters.
• wear anything that shows my stomach.
• care about team Edward or team Jake.
• stay out until last call.
• drink really cheap beer or super expensive beer.
• wear thong underwear.
• have more kids.
• shop for no reason.
• spend time with unpleasant people.
• need an iPod -- I have a Sansa MP3 player that works great, but was a fraction of the cost.
• have another dog. (No more after these!)
• watch Teen Mom, Real World, Say Yes to the Dress or many other reality shows.
• succumb to peer pressure.
• lie about stupid stuff.

In a couple of days, I'll post a list of things I'm too young for!